


Tʜᴇ Nᴄᴛ Dʀᴇᴀᴍ Cʜʀᴏɴɪᴄʟᴇs ♡︎

by dreamiecloudproductions



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, I'm Going to Hell, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:53:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29658537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiecloudproductions/pseuds/dreamiecloudproductions
Summary: 𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌. 𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔?𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	1. ily mornings after || renmin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **mentions of sex (but no sex) and ill language**

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎  
Na Jaemin smiled as he snuggled deeper into the sheets of his warm bed. The love of his life was right next to him. Just the previous night, he and his boyfriend did.... some unholy things. He was happy since they lost their virginities to each other. There was no one more gentle and thoughtful than Huang Renjun.

There was no way he could describe Renjun. He was the light of his life. He was the reason he didn't off with himself. He was the reason he woke with a smile everyday. Losing him was unthinkable, and he couldn't bear to spend a day away from him. He spent his free time trying to please him, and make him happy. Huang Renjun was Jaemin's tie to the earth. Without him, he would be lost. It was fair to say, Na Jaemin was whipped.

Renjun was a good boyfriend, too. He cooked for Jaemin and kept him happy. If Jaemin needed anything, even at 3am, Renjun got it. It was his way of saying "I love you". Jaemin kept him sane when he had panic attacks. Even with everything going on in the world, Jaemin would be his answer. No matter how much he was hurting, Jaemin was his bandage. It was also safe to say, Huang Renjun was whipped.

That's the very reason they made love the previous night. It had been 3 long years, but they both were patient because they knew their time would come. They wanted their relationship to be perfect before sex, and even though there's no such thing as "perfection", they were the closest to it. Their milestones were in good time, and they could always talk through everything.

Hugs- two weeks

Holding Hands- one month

Peck- one month, 15 days

Kiss- two months

Makeout- five months

Grinding- one year, 3 months

Moving in together- two years

Jerking Eachother- two years, 4 months

Bjs- two years, 7 months

Sex- three years (the previous night)

I Love You- ???

Jaemin was so grateful for their relationship, and that their first time was on their three-year anniversary. Renjun knew that there would never be someone else like Jaemin, which is why he didn't ever want to lose him.

Renjun woke up, aching all over his body. Still, he stood shakily to make Jaemin breakfast. He blushed when he noticed he was naked, and threw on one of Jaemin's oversized white shirts. He brushed his teeth and washed his face. He ventured into the kitchen and held himself up with the counter. His lower pain was on the brink of unbearable, and he used the counter to maneuver to get the supplies for pancakes.

He began making breakfast, leaning on the counter. Humming a sweet tune, he poured the pancake batter onto the buttered pan. When it was golden brown, he flipped it. Removing the pancake, he placed them on the side. Once he made a considerable amount of food, he piled them onto plates, making a chocolate chip smile on Jaemin's. Remembering he needed to pour milk, he got out two glasses.

Jaemin woke up to see a ray of light shining into the room. He sighed, ignoring the ache in his body, he basked in the sunlight. There was a feeling of comfort encasing the boy, and he simply felt happy. He blindly felt the other side of the bed for his lover, but it was empty. He quickly stood, threw on clothes, washed up, and bolted for the kitchen, still ignoring his aching joints. Who knew good sex came with such a price? When he emerged from the hallway, he saw renjun in his shirt, pouring milk. He smiled and went to back hug him.

Renjun jumped, nearly spilling the milk. He shouted out in frustration as Jaemin laughed out lightly and peppered kisses onto the back of his neck.

"You scared me!" Renjun shouted while turning around

"Sorry, did you make all of this food?"

"Yeah, only the best for you"

"Thank you!"

Jaemin walked over to the table, putting all of the food down. Renjun took a large breath and tried to walk to the table. His legs gave out and he collapsed. He cried out in pain, and Jaemin dashed over to him.

"Injunnie! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, it feels like you split me open last night"

Jaemin helped Renjun up and into his seat, tucking in his chair. He leaned down to sniff his hair and kiss the top of his hair. Renjun leaned into his touch and smiled. He would never get tired of Jaemin's cheesy antics.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you"

"It's ok! We both wanted it, and I have no regrets"

"Round two tonight?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Of course I am"

"Good, I can't take it"

"You're so cute"

Jaemin smiled down at the cheesy face on the pancake, and Renjun shot him a "don't you dare make a comment" face. Jaemin just sniffed and soaked his pancakes in syrup. They began to eat and talk about random things. How Jisung and Chenle were together, and how Mark and Donghyuck were a mess. Halfway through, Renjun began to shift around, as if he was uncomfortable.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"It just hurts down there and the chair isn't helping"

"Huh?"

"My ass hurts from last night's sex" he said more bluntly

Jaemin made an 'oh' face "Why didn't you say anything?"

Jaemin stood and pulled Renjun into his lap. "Better?" Renjun blushed and nodded.

When Renjun leaned forward to eat another bite of food, his ass rubbed on Jaemin's thighs, and Jaemin swore he didn't feel underwear.

"Are you wearing underwear injunnie?"

Renjun swallowed his large bite and sheepishly replied "Uh, not exactly"

"Woww, scandalous"

Renjun lightly smacked him and finished his food. When he stood to put his dishes away, Jaemin scooped him up into his arms. Renjun began to pout while Jaemin carried him to the room. After opening the door, he placed him on the bed and left to clean up. He could hear Jaemins light singing and whistling.

When he got back, he flopped onto the bed and looked at Renjun. He looked ethereal. They made eye contact and they both smiled.

"How did I get so lucky?"

"I am lucky to have you, Jae"

They both laid down, Jaemin spooning Renjun. Renjun leaned into his touch and pulled the covers over them. Jaemin knew they were both going to cut class. At the time, all he wanted to do was comfort his boyfriend. He began rubbing circles onto his back to soothe it.

"How was last night?" Jaemin abruptly asked

"It hurt at first, but it got better. It may have been sloppy, but it made me feel loved. I hope I conveyed that too. It was magical and indescribable"

"I felt loved, too. There is no one I would rather be with in those circumstances. I love you, Huang Renjun"

"Even though you just said the dorkiest thing ever, I love you too, Na Jaemin"

Their first "I Love You." And with that, the two shared a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't come for me


	2. halloween treat || markhyuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate that you're so observant, Mark lee."
> 
> "You just hate that you're flustered"

"I swear, Mark. I'm not going to get drunk!!!" Donghyuck was currently arguing with Mark over the phone. They were going to a halloween party later that night. "I'm just saying, hyuck. If we go and don't tell each other who we are, I don't want to have to drive you home drunk," Mark said through the phone.

Mark and Donghyuck had been friends for what seemed like forever. It was no surprise they were close. They met in third grade, and stayed friends. They went through many things together, like the embarrassing thing called puberty. No matter how much their voices cracked and how awkward they got, they were still inseparable. 

"I won't get drunk, I promise," Hyuck said, sounding more sincere. He had given Mark a lot of grief in the 13 years he had known him. He was considered bratty and outgoing, and to a certain extent- he was. "Okay, I'll see you then," Mark said. "See ya!" Donghyuck chirped before hanging up. 

♡︎

Donghyuck huffed. He didn't have anything suitable for the party in his closet. He had ripped everything out, gone through all of his shoes, and he didn't find a costume-type thing to wear. Just before he gave up, he spotted a box labeled "halloween" and he sighed in relief. The previous year, he had picked something beforehand, and it completely slipped his mind. 

He opened the box to find it was a masquerade-type outfit. It was sleek and black, and really nice. He smiled in content and got changed.

♡︎

Mark looked at himself in the mirror, feeling self-conscious. He was wearing a knight costume, and it seemed like a good idea before he put it on. It was too late, anyways. He had already gotten ready and dressed. 

He left the house, getting in his car to head to the party. When he pulled up, he noticed everyone has some sort of hat or mask on, like him. He groaned in anger. How was he supposed to find Donghyuck now? Giving up, he went inside to find the party host, his friend Jaemin. He walked in to see people dancing in the living room, eating food and getting drunk. He knew Donghyuck wouldn't stay sober in that mess.

Going into the kitchen, he spotted Jaemin. He was dressed in a model-esque outfit, harness and all. Mark couldn't lie, he looked hot. Jeno, one of Jaemin's boyfriends came and back hugged Jaemin, noticing Mark's stare. "Hey Mark!" Jaemin shouted over the music, "where's Hyuck?"

Mark shrugged, "He won't tell me what he's dressed as." Jaemin shrugged and walked away, presumably going to find Renjun, his other boyfriend. Mark ventured out into the living room, trying to find something to do.

♡︎

Donghyuck was having a good time. He was talking with Jeno and Sungchan, and had only downed one beer. Part of his mind was on Mark, but he tried to keep such thoughts far from him. 

After a lot of dancing (and maybe a few more bears) donghyuck decided to call it a night. He would stick around, maybe try to find Mark. He knew Mark would be disappointed if he got wasted.

It was safe to say Mark and Donghyuck liked each other. Mark liked him since middle school, and Donghyuck like Mark since freshman year. Neither of them said anything, they didn't want to ruin the thing they had going. 

♡︎

Mark was out of it. He only had half a beer, but he wanted to leave. Parties weren't his thing, and he knew it would end like this. He decided to go upstairs, where the music was quieter. He opened door, trying to find and empty room to curl up in to wait for Hyuck, but there weren't any. People were either making out in them or having sex. That was the definition of a "college party".

He found the only room that was open was the bathroom. He went in, not even caring to shut the door. He collapsed onto the ground, almost falling asleep, when someone walked in.

♡︎

Donghyuck was bored. There wasn't anything to do, since he was single and all. He decided he would go pee, due to the amount of alcohol he drank. Seeing the downstairs bathroom was occupied, he went upstairs. He saw the bathroom door was open, and he went in. He came face to face with someone in a knight costume. They had a helmet on, so he couldn't see them.

"Whoa, what's with you?" he asked the person. "I'm not a party person," Mark said, his voiced muffled. "Yeah, neither is my friend. I don't know where he is."

Mark knew it was Hyuck right away, but he didn't say anything. "So, anything you wanna talk about?" he said instead. What he wasn't expecting was for him to respond, "actually, yes" He nodded and sat on the edge of the tub, the smaller copying. "Tell me"

"Well," donghyuck began, "I'm bored. I don't have my best friends here because I insisted on not telling him my costume. And if that isn't a headache in itself, I love him. I have since we started high school together, and I never told him. Every time he had a small date thingy with someone, it made me sad. I tried it too, but I don't want other people, I want him."

"You know, I feel that way about one of my friends too, he's funny and nice. Everyone's lucky to have him." Hyuck scoffed, "if only life was simple, and I could tell him." Mark internally smiled and replied, "What if you already did?"

Donghyuck's hooded eyes flew open and he faced the person. "Who are you?" Mark removed his helmet to reveal his pink face. He slowly also removed Donghyuck's mask. Donghyuck put a hand over his mouth, "Ohmygod I shouldn't have said that, I'll be going no-"

Before he could say another word, he felt lips pressed against his own. What they pulled away, Mark whispered, "I love you too." They shared a smile, and Hyuck replied, "I love you."

♡︎

"How did you know it was me, anyways?" Donghyuck asked Mark, the both of them seated on Hyuck's bed. "You forgot to take off the bracelet I gave you, and I can't forget your voice," he said with a smile. Donghyuck looked at his wrist to admire the thin bracelet Mark gave him for graduation. It had the letters "MH" on it, to symbol each other. His face flushed pink and he looked away.

"I hate that you're so observant, Mark lee."

"You just hate that you're flustered"

"I hate you, Mark lee"

"Love you too, Hyuck"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not october but i still wanted to post it
> 
> love you!!!


	3. coming home || norenmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "JAEMIN!!! SLOW DOWN!!! YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH!" Jeno and Renjun screamed in unison. Jaemin was speeding beyond belief, and the other two were clutching onto their seats for dear life. "I wanna get home, plus, it's like a rollercoaster! Enjoy the ride!" It was not a rollercoaster for the other two.

It was torture for Renjun to be away from home for so long. He had left Korea to do a shoot in China, and now that he was done, he was heading home. He was seated in his plane seat, low rnb music playing in his earbuds. He would land in an hour, and he had never been more excited. He would get to see his two boyfriends after two long weeks. 

.

.

.

Jeno and Jaemin were running around their apartment, trying to clean up as fast as they could. Renjun was the tidy one, and he kept the place in shape. Since he had been gone, Jaemin and Jeno paid no attention to cleaning. The place was a mess.

Jaemin stopped cleaning to track Renjun's flight. 

➪ Huang Renjun will be arriving at Seoul International Airport in approx. 45 minutes.

Jaemin screeched, "Jeno!!! Get in the car, Junnie's gonna be here in 45 minutes!!! We'll be late!!!" At those words, Jeno grabbed his keys and dragged Jaemin to the car. He wasted no time in starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. 

.

.

.

Renjun had tried just about all of the snacks on the plane. He mentally thanked his boyfriends for getting him a first class ticket. The sun began to set, but the light wasn't golden yet. Only 30 minutes until decent into Seoul. 

Renjun and his boyfriends had been in a relationship for 4 years. They were the best 4 years of all of their lives. Jaemin and Jeno met after high school, and they met Renjun a month later, when they were looking for universities. Since then, they had been together. They graduated that summer, and Renjun left immediately for China.

He felt bad for not spending the first part of the summer with his lovers, but he couldn't help it. That was the life of a model. He was attractive and he knew, and if he wanted a future, that was the job. 

.

.

.

"Jeno!!! Fucking step on it!!!!" Jaemin hollered at an irritated Jeno. "I DON'T WANNA SPEED!!! I'M GOING TO GET PULLED OVER!!!" Jeno yelled back, not talking his eyes off the road. "WELL, DO YOU WANNA SEE JUNNIE OR NOT!?" Jeno rolled his eyes and retorted, "OF COURSE I DO, YOU'RE INSUFFERABLE" He then stepped on the bass, making Jaemin whoop.

"That's my job, babe," he sealed it with a wink. "You're lucky I love you." Jaemin nodded, "I know."

Finally, after a lot of yelling, they arrived at the airport. They saw Renjun would land in 15 minutes. It was convenient that they lived so close to the airport. "Let's go find him, he's on flight 49," Jeno said. They walked up to the desk and asked for the directions to the gate.

.

.

.

Renjun was excited, to say the least. His flight had just landed, and people were standing to leave. When it was his turn to stand, he grabbed his luggage and got off. The people were lined up at the gate, and the gate door opened. People with families crowded the area, and he felt lost.

He tried to look for his boyfriends, but he couldn't see them. He heard a familiar voice yelling, "Junnie!! over here!!!" He saw his boyfriends to his right, and he ran towards them. He flung his arms around Jeno and proceeded to kiss Jaemin. "I missed you guys," he said breathlessly.

"We missed you too. We're incomplete without you. A triangle is the strongest shape, after all," Jeno said. "You're so cheesy, Jen," Jaemin laughed. They threaded their arms around Renjun, Jeno dragging his luggage. "I'm so glad to be here with you two, you guys are my home."

"And you're ours," Jaemin and Jeno chimed. They got to the car and got in. Jaemin shoved Jeno out of the way to sit with Renjun in the front. Jeno, being the amazing boyfriends he is, moved to sit in the backseat. 

.

.

.

"JAEMIN!!! SLOW DOWN!!! YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH!" Jeno and Renjun screamed in unison. Jaemin was speeding beyond belief, and the other two were clutching onto their seats for dear life. "I wanna get home, plus, it's like a rollercoaster! Enjoy the ride!" It was not a rollercoaster for the other two.

Eventually, they got home safely, walking inside, ignoring the luggage left in the car. Jaemin plopped onto the couch, Jeno and Renjun on top of him. "Mmhph! You two are heavy!!!" The two on top giggled and flipped over. Jaemin sat up and wrapped his arms around Renjun. "This is nice," he hummed. "Yeah, it's nice to be home."

Jeno moved to lay his head in Renjun's lap, Renjun's hand moving to stroke his head. Both boys thought Renjun looked ethereal in the sunset. His skin was flawless, and his lips were plump. Renjun noticed they were staring at him and blushed. He leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on Jeno's lips.

Jeno pulled him in for a longer kiss, lips lingering. He began to move his lips in the sweet rhythm they had set. Jeno tasted sweet, all too fitting for his personality. It just reminded him of why he fell in love with him. When they pulled apart, their lips were pink and swollen. The gave each other small smiles, almost completely forgetting about Jaemin.

Jaemin let out an attention-deprived whine. Renjun looked up to see he was pouting. He let out a laugh and kissed Jaemin, Jaemin immediately licking his bottom lip. He chuckled and parted them, letting him explore his mouth. Jaemin's kisses were sweet, too, just different than Jeno's. They were sloppier, but equally as satisfying. 

They pulled away with a string of saliva connecting them, each of them panting slightly. He laid there, happily watching Jeno and Jaemin share a sweet kiss. His boyfriends were so beautiful. He could watch the sight for years to come (and he hoped he would). 

.

.

.

After a few more shared pecks and kisses, they went to lay down. Jumping onto the fluffy white bed, (that Jaemin chose) they laid down, Renjun in-between the other two. Jaemin burying his head in Renjun's chest, and Jeno spooned Renjun, his arms coming around Jaemin too. Laying there, Renjun let words slip out of his mouth, "I love you guys, more than you could ever imagine," he whispered. 

"No, I love you, you're perfect and warm and you have a great personality. You're worth so much more than you think," Jeno said. "Yeah, you're irreplaceable, Junnie. You give us happiness," Jaemin added.

And with that, the three boys fell asleep, listening to each other's heartbeats, celebrating Renjun's coming home. ♡︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a sap for this ship, thanks for reading!!!


	4. you're sure, you're sure || chenji [18+]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I WAS BULLIED INTO THIS BY MY SISTER PLEASE DON'T COME FOR ME.

**[18+]**

“Jisung stop!!!” Chenle yelled as he was beat yet again at Mario Kart. It wasn’t a surprise to most people when they were informed that Jisung sucked at video games. It just so happened that he was strangely good at Mario Kart. And for that, Chenle cursed him.

“I can’t help it!!! Do you want me to lose for you!?” Jisung yelled back, giving Chenle an exasperated face. Chenle pretended to think it over and replied with a quick “yes.” At that Jisung rolled his eyes and put down his switch controller, uninterested. He laid down on his bed and rolled so he was on his stomach. Chenle was still laying on his side, putting away his switch.

Chenle was staying the night at his boyfriend's house, since Jisung’s parents were gone for the weekend. It’s not like their parents didn’t know about them, but more so them wanting to keep private things private. “So,” Chenle began, “what should we do?” He sat there expectantly, waiting for a response. “I don’t know…” Jisung replied.

“How could you not know? You invited me here as a guest, and you don’t have anything to do?” He playfully punched the taller and smiled at his flustered look. “I don’t know… honestly, I just wanted to see you. I forgot to make plans” Chenle’s gaze softened at his boyfriend’s response, and he kissed the tip of his nose.

“Eeeeekgh!” Jisung shouted, partially in surprise and in embarrassment. Chenle giggled at his boyfriend’s shy antics and did it once again. By this time, Jisung was beet red, and Chenle was just enjoying himself. “But seriously. I’m bored to near death” Jisung sighed and began to think. “Watch a drama with me?” He asked, reaching for the remote. “Always”

“What do you wanna watch?” Jisung asked, scrolling through the feed. “Ummm, that one” Chenle said while pointing at one of them. “Umm, that’s rated adults” They took the time to read the description of the movie, and it seemed good. “It’s ok Jisung, it’s probably marked for swearing or something like that” Jisung nodded and put the movie on, moving to turn off the lights. Since it was nighttime, the room was pitch black aside from the tv.

Both of them sat back on the headboard, covering themselves in blankets. The movie started, and both of the boys got absorbed in the angsty plot. Jisung fake yawned to put his arm around Chenle, and he was told, “you don’t have to do that cringey shit, just do it, sungie” He got a small smile in response, and they resumed watching. They got an idea of why the movie was rated for adults when a clubbing scene came on. It was wholesome, well, as wholesome as a club could be until the characters went home together.

In shorter words, the people on screen were having sex, and it was making the two young boys slightly uncomfortable, if not, just a bit turned on. Glancing at each other and nodding, they turned the tv off and sat in an awkward silence. “So,” Chenle began, always being the bold and outgoing one in the pair, “what now?” Jisung looked at him, as if he was shocked he dared to speak, and shrugged his shoulders. The silence settled in once more, and Chenle lost his ability to speak.

“Well…” Jisung began out of nowhere, “I know this is probably weird and too soon, but do you have a problem… down there?” Chenle’s face remained emotionless, and Jisung began to worry. All of a sudden, Chenle busted out laughing. “Jisung, just ask: Zhong Chenle, do you have a boner? No need for the tricky wordplay” Jisung visibly gulped and repeated, “Zhong Chenle, do you have a boner?”

“Better, and yes, I do” Jisung’s face went pink, and there was a tinge of red in his ears. He couldn’t believe Chenle could be so plain about it. “O-oh, um…” he gulped once more, and collected himself. “What do we do?” Chenle was the one who shrugged this time, and Jisung took matters into his own hands. He gave Chenle a small peck on the cheek, and looked in his eyes, searching for any discomfort. Sensing none, he kissed him, this time on the lips.

He pulled away again, and turned to the side, shy from the sudden course of action. “Jisung.” Chenle said, “You can’t possibly leave me hanging like that, could you? We’ve made out so many times, and you choose to be shy now?” Jisung turned back to face him, and crashed their lips together. It was hot, and the evident hesitation in Jisung’s lips was bothering Chenle. To spur him on, he pulled at Jisung’s hair, knowing it turned him on beyond belief.

To his delight, Jisung let out a small moan and deepened the kiss. Chenle opened up easily, and Jisung began licking into his mouth, exploring every crevice, enjoying the taste.

They pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes. Jisung admired Chenle’s fucked out expression, and groaned. “Chenle….” Jisung kept glancing downwards, and Chenle knew where it was heading. Still, he let his boyfriend continue. “Can we…” This time, Chenle shushed him, “we can, only if you’re sure” Jisung smiled and replied with a small, “I’m sure”

“Good” Chenle whispered, pushing Jisung flat down against the mattress and climbing on top of him. “Cause I’m not accepting takebacks.” Jisung groaned once more and pulled Chenle into another heated kiss. When Jisung tried to claim dominance, he felt his boyfriend fight back, knowing how to make him light in the head, Jisung flipped them, so he was on top, and he saw the lust in Chenle’s eyes. “Fuck, Jisung, please kiss me” And just like that, their lips were reconnected, and Chenle relented, giving Jisung power.

Jisung swirled their tongues together, ignoring their mixed drool dripping between their chins. He nibbled on Chenle’s bottom lip and Chenle moaned, letting his boyfriend swallow his sweet sounds. Jisung began to kiss his lover’s neck, eliciting pretty moans. He sucked and swirled his tongue, and the occasional bite. He found Chenle’s sweet spot, earning him a high-pitched squeal. When he pulled away, there was a pretty purple mark blooming.

Jisung felt his boyfriend roll his hips upwards, and he moaned out, rolling his hips downwards. “Fuck, Chenle, please” Chenle nodded and stripped his boyfriend until he was left in boxers. Jisung did the same, and smiled when he saw hearts on Chenle’s loose boxers. “Since when did you get so cute?” Chenle rolled his eyes and replied, “I’ve always been like this.”

Jisung smiled, and he suddenly got nervous. “Chenle, I’ve never done this, I’m kinda scared.” Chenle smiled and caressed his cheeks. “Me too, Jisung. I have to fit your dick in my ass, so I’m hella scared.” Jisung relaxed a bit at his boyfriend and asked, “So, what first?”

“I don’t know if I can suck dick well, but I wanna try, for you” Jisung blushed at his boyfriend’s openness. “Ok lele, how do you want me?” Chenle stopped to think, and positioned Jisung to where his back was against the headboard, legs spread. Chenle palmed Jisung through his boxers, and Jisung let out a guttural moan. He tugged them down and Jisung’s cock sprang out, tall and leaking.

“Wow, you’re so hard from a show” Jisung sighed and replied “not the show, you” Chenle smiled and began working his hands on his boyfriend’s shaft. Jisung moaned and fisted the sheets of the bed. “Chenle, fuck, I need it so bad…” Getting the hint, Chenle licked a stripe from his balls to the tip of his length and Jisung cursed loudly. He decided to take the tip into his mouth, and he could taste Jisung’s salty precum. He slowly took it into his mouth, surprised at how big it felt.

When he felt the tip hit the back of his throat, he moaned, sending vibrations up Jisung’s spine. Jisung silently thanked god for Chenle’s lack of gag reflex, and got lost in the pleasure. Chenle pulled all of the way off, to Jisung’s dissatisfaction. “You can fuck my mouth if you want,” he said, a little out of breath. Jisung groaned, “Chenle, you’re going to be the death of me.” Chenle smiled and went down once more on his boyfriend’s cock.

Jisung seized his opportunity, and thrusted upwards. He let out a guttural moan and began moving faster, using his right hand to cup Chenle’s cheek. “Chenle, pull off, I’m going to-ah cum, I do-ah don’t want to, I need to when I’m-ah in you.” Chenle got the message and pulled off. “I’m sorry if that wasn’t good, it’s my first time” Jisung shook his head, “No, that was so good, damn it, now I’m shy.” He covered his face with his hands, and Chenle pried them off. “You’re so pretty when you blush, don’t hide it.”

“Okay, your turn. What do you want?” Jisung asked. Chenle wiped his mouth and pulled lube out of Jisung’s dresser. “How did you know I had that?!” he said, both horrified and flattered. “Just a hunch, now prep me” Chenle got onto all fours, burying his face in the bedsheets, embarrassed.

“uh, I don’t know how to do this, Chenle'' Chenle took hold of Jisung’s fingers and covered them with lube. Jisung’s face was still red, clearly putting in effort to hide his shock. “Now, stick them in me, one at a time.” Nodding, Jisung inserted one finger, marveling at how he could slip it in and out of Chenle’s tight hole. Soon, he felt Chenle pushing back on his finger, so he added another one. He was satisfied when the small action elicited a pretty moan out of Chenle.

Jisung continued fucking his two fingers in and out of Chenle, occasionally curling them just to hear another intoxicating sound. “Jisung, add a third, please” Listening to his boyfriend’s plea, he inserted a third one, and Chenle let out a sound of pleasure, and slight pain. “Are you ok?” Jisung asked, scared he hurt him. “I’m fine, sungie, it’s just going to hurt a bit for the first few times” Jisung blushed for the nth time at the prospect of doing it again.

Soon, his fingers were gliding in and out of Chenle with ease. Chenle was letting out satisfied sounds, and Jisung began massaging his ass. “Jisung, I’m ready.” With a swift motion, Jisung picked him up and laid him on his back. He placed a pillow underneath the smaller’s back, remembering that he read it gave support. He moved to hover over Chenle, feeling vulnerable. “I hope this is okay for you, I don’t think it’ll be too good, since it’s my first time.”

“Jisung, it’ll be perfect for us, I love you.” Jisung smiled his gummy smile and tried to ignore his awkward fumbling hands. “I love you too”

“Chenle, Before we hit the road, if you ain’t ready to go, oh~ just tell me that you’re sure, you’re sure~” Jisung sang, as a consensual question. “Even though that was cringey af, I love you for it. Yes, I’m sure”

Satisfied with his response, Jisung lined himself up with Chenle’s hole, and sloppily pushed partially in. He noticed Chenle’s eyes filled with tears, and he gave him a soft kiss. “I’m sorry, lele, it’ll get better” Jisung said as he began drawing circles on Chenle’s thighs, trying to distract him. Slowly, he pushed in more, now two-thirds the way in. “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that hurts like a bitch!” Chenle shouted, tears falling freely now.

“I’m so sorry, my love. We can stop here if it hurts too much.” Chenle shook his head no, and took deep breaths. Jisung took the chance to pepper his face with kisses. “I’m going to push the rest in, ok?” Chenle let out a shaky breath and nodded. Jisung pushed fully in, and immediately swallowed Chenle’s cry with his own mouth. He purposefully ignored the pleasure engulfing himself in an attempt to comfort his boyfriend.

“You can move now, sungie” Chenle breathed, obviously feeling the pleasure. Jisung started with slow, sloppy thrusts, as he didn’t have a clue as to what he was doing. “Hngg sungiee” Gaining confidence from Chenle’s reaction, he sped up, both of them moaning uncontrollably. He remembered something about a sweet spot, and he tried to find Chenle’s. Angling his hips, he brushed new places that had Chenle screaming. “Sungie!! It’s so good!!! I’m so full”

“AHH- WHAT THE FUCK” Chenle screamed as Jisung finally hit his prostate, making him see stars. “What the fuck was that” Jisung’s lips curved upwards into a smile as he replied in between thrusts, “that, is, your prostate, it’s like, a… sweet spot” Chenle nodded in understanding, “there, sungie, there!!!”

Jisung rammed into the spot, making Chenle see stars. He clenched around Jisung “ughn, do that again” Chenle clenched repeatedly, making Jisung moan obscenely. “I’m close,” Jisung panted. “H~hah! I’m going to-ah cum soon!!” They looked into each other’s eyes, and with one final thrust and clench, both of them came.

Jisung collapsed next to Chenle with a groan. “Who knew good sex was such a workout?” Chenle chuckled and snuggled into his boyfriend’s chest. “I love you, Jisung Parkk” Chenle sighed. “I love you too, Park Chenle.” Chenle playfully hit his chest and they both laughed. “Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to be a Park.”

“You are, I don’t need a title to prove it. From now on, I’m forgetting you were ever a Zhong.” Chenle laughed out loud along with his boyfriend. “You’re going to be the death of me, sungie”

“You know what they say; till death do us part”

After a few more giggles and shared kisses, the two fell asleep, satisfied that their first time wasn’t perfect. Instead, it was made up of Park Jisung and Zhong (Park) Chenle, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell i'm going to hell


	5. beautiful pt. 1 || nomin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not pretty, not exceptional, _beautiful._

Comments on Na Jaemin's Post

minsuji21431: Jaemin’s so ugly  
↳boichicken223: ikr, Jeno's soo much more attractive  
↳minsuji21431: why are they even dating  
↳boichicken223: Jeno must feel bad  
view 10,000+ more

Jaemin's eyes filled with tears, his fans, the people that grew up loving him were now against him. He knew he shouldn't have announced him and Jeno were dating. But he had to be impulsive and impatient as always. Now it came to bite him in the ass.   
.  
.  
Jeno was at a cafe picking up coffee for him and Jaemin. Grabbing Jaemin's poison, and his drink, he left, thinking about his beautiful boyfriend. While he was on the way home, he got a call from Jaemin.

“Hello?”

“J-Jen… we shouldn't have said we were dating. I’m ugly…”

Jeno's face dropped and he quickly responded, “No you're not, who told you that?”

“the fans….”

Jeno sighed as he began, “It's good to value our fans opinions, but when they're rude like that, they aren't fans.”

“still…. they said you pity me and that's why you're with me,” he sniffed

“You know that's not true, I’m with you because you're kind and loving and beautiful. I'm infatuated with you, Na Jaemin.”

Jaemin smiled teary eyed at the phone, “thanks…”

“You know what, wait there,” Jeno said and then he hung up.  
.  
.  
“Jen-” and Jeno hung up. Sighing, Jaemin flopped down into the bed, feeling only slightly better at his boyfriends kind words. “hyung, Chenle made his ramen, and I brought you some,” Jisung said, coming into the room and handing a bag to Jaemin. “thanks!” he said, pretending to be happy. Jisung smiled, threw his bag onto his bed that was the top bunk, and left quickly, most likely going to meet Chenle again.

To be young and in love, god Jaemin missed those days. Back when he could love Jeno to no end and not be hated by half of the population. Hating the feeling of his drying tears, he wiped his face and opened the bag. There was a plastic container containing ramen, with a sticky note attached to the top.

hi hyung, i included this in case jisung forgot to tell you. i made you soup, jisung only washed tomatoes :)  
x.x zcl   
ps. jisung says “hiiiiiiii”

Jaemin smiled and opened the container, grabbing the chopsticks included. He began eating, devouring the food in a matter of minutes. Chenle was a good cook, and he himself couldn't even turn on the stove. He took every opportunity that presented itself to indulge in Chenle’s food, even if he was sad. He texted a thank you and laid down, trying not to think about the mean comments.

to: chenle 

thank you for the food~ 😊

from: chenle

yw nana, jisung says he helped too lol

to: chenle

ahahahaha okay thanks ji ❤️

from: chenle

this is jisung, you're welcome! ❤️

After, Jaemin fell asleep, drifting off to the calmest place ever, dreamland.  
.  
.  
.  
After hanging up on Jaemin, Jeno rushed over to the nearest dessert store. He planned to surprise Jaemin with a few things, to make him happy. When he finally got there, he opened the door and enjoyed the scent of baked goods and sugar that wafted towards him.

Walking up to the lady at the counter, he spoke, “hello, may I have four chocolate brownies?” She nodded, “sit and I’ll call you when they're ready.” He thanked her and went to sit at one of the light blue tables. He went onto Jaemin's instagram and saw what the people were saying.

He got really upset and sad for his boyfriend. Everyone was commenting slurs and negativity towards him. Jaemin didn't deserve it, no one did. Getting an idea, he commented on Jaemin's most recent post.

Comments on Na Jaemin's Post

lee_jeno: jaemin, you're the sun that lights up my day, and the moon that illuminates my night. remember who you are and where you came from. know that many people love you, especially me. i love you ❤️

view 10,000+ more

Jeno blushed when he hit send. Now the whole internet knew just how whipped he was for Jaemin. He didn't care, though. All he wanted was to see a smile on his face.

“four chocolate brownies for…. Jeno?” the lady spoke. His head snapped up and he walked over to claim them. After paying, he took them and exited the store. While he was thinking about where to go next, he spotted a convenience store. He went inside to see there were small mirrors for sale. Getting an idea, he bought one and left.

The next stop was a makeup store. He went into the nearest one and greeted the people working. “What will it be today?” one of them asked. “Can I get a red lipstick and some makeup wipes?” She nodded and pulled them out, putting them into a bag and handing them to Jeno. He paid and ran out, needing one last thing.   
.  
He was standing in front of the jewelry store. Of course he was going to propose to Jaemin. He couldn't think of any reason not to. He went in and asked the lady for a matching set of rings. “For you and your girlfriend?” she asked. Jeno shook his head, “My boyfriend.” She nodded in understanding, asked for their ring sizes, and began looking for rings.

“I found these, do you like them?” she asked. They were pretty, but Jeno didn't think they were perfect. “No, I'm sorry, is there a way I could take a look and pick?” She nodded and gestured to the glass counter. Jeno began looking around until he had seen them all. He settled on two and pointed to them. “Sir, those aren't a set.” He smiled and pointed, “You didn't put them in a set, but there is an engraved heart inside each of them. If that isn't a set, I don't know what is.”

“You have a sharp eye, I'll package them up for you,” she said. When all was said and done, Jeno left, clutching a bag with a velvet box inside.  
.  
.  
.  
Jaemin woke up to a notification from Instagram. He looked with one eye, scared it was going to be negative. Instead, it was from Jeno. He read the message and his vision clouded. Jeno truly was the best. He smiled and liked the comment.

“Jae~” Jeno said, knocking on the already open door. “hmm? I saw your comment, I love you too.” Jeno smiled. “Why are those comments getting to you?” Jaemin's smile dropped. “I don't know. Maybe it's because it's what I think whenever I’m feeling self conscious.” 

Jeno's heart softened, “You shouldn't think that. I would never date someone for pity, and I would never lie to someone I love.” Jaemin smiled, “thanks, you're the best.” Jeno smiled, “not yet. I brought you brownies,” he said. Immediately, Jaemin's eyes lit up and he opened the box that was handed to him. 

“Thank you thank you thank you!!!” he squealed, enjoying the smell of chocolate. “Anytime” They shared them right then and there, laying on the bottom bunk of a tiny bed, watching random videos. It was truly home.

When they were calm and happy, a negative notification popped up. He felt Jaemin tense, and he snatched the phone. “Keep the notifications off.” He turned them off, planting a kiss on Jaemin's forehead. He noticed a wet spot on the bed and saw Jaemin was crying. He wiped the tears and kissed them away. 

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out the mirror and red lipstick. “put this on,” he commended. Jaemin looked at him weirdly but complied. Jeno held up the mirror, “look at yourself. You're so pretty right now, the red compliments you.” Jaemin smiled. He then took a wipe and removed it. “Now look at yourself, tell me what you see.”

“I see boring old me…?” Jeno frowned, “Wrong. You see someone who's beautiful. Not pretty, not exceptional, _beautiful._ That's what you are. And you shouldn't forget that. Don't forget that I love you for who you are.”

“Damn, I love you so much,” Jaemin said, engulfing his boyfriend in a hug. Jeno pressed a kiss to Jaemin's lips and they shared a sweet, sloppy kiss. “Let's take a nap,” Jaemin said, even though he had already had one. Jeno nodded and smiled. Together, they fell asleep, listening to the calming breaths of each other. Jaemin felt full and complete in the arms of his lover.  
.  
.  
.  
Jeno completely forgot there was a wedding ring he had stashed in his room, sitting there. ♡︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love them


	6. beautiful pt. 2 || nomin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: DEATH

“Jenooooooooooo!!!!” Jaemin shouted, calling for Jeno even though he was in his room. It was the next day, and Jaemin’s door was open. “What, Jae?” Jeno responded, his tall figure appearing in the doorway. “Close the door?” Jaemin asked, giving his puppy eyes. “You called me for that?” Jaemin nodded, pointing at the door, “I don’t want it open.” Jeno rolled his eyes with a sigh, leaving and shutting the door. He was used to the behavior from Jaemin, he found it annoying at times, but mostly cute.

Jaemin smiled when Jeno left. He didn’t really care about the door, he had Jisung, who was above him for that. He just wanted to see Jeno. He was truly lucky to have someone like him. “When are you going to move in with Jeno?” he heard Jisung ask. “What? Already bored of me?” Jaemin climbed up the ladder to face Jisung. “It’s not that….. it’s just that I was thinking of Chenle coming to stay here…..” A grin slowly crept onto Jaemin’s face, “you’re so obsessed with him!!!!” 

“No I’m not!!! I just want to spend more time with him!!!” Jaemin arched an eyebrow, “More than the twelve hours you spend together daily already?” Jisung nodded, scrolling through tiktok, “Just asking, no rush.” Jaemin thought for a while, “Maybe it is time…” He climbed down and went to his favorite place, Google.

Jaemin couldn’t lie. Not having his notifications on his phone really helped. He was happier and he didn’t feel burdened. Yes, the thought of those comments being there was upsetting, but not reading them was putting him in a better mindset. 

He also really did want to share a room with Jeno. It was lonely alone, and he would get cold at night. He never went to complain about it, so he usually called Jeno from their separate rooms. It was silly, but he loved it.

He quickly searched up, “when is it ok to move into the same room as your s/o?” A bunch of results popped up, and he clicked on the most popular one.

“It is said that moving in with someone is a big deal. In truth, it is. There isn’t a set time, since all relationships move differently, and not everyone is completely comfortable with the idea. There are signs you could look out for, though.   
1\. If you are spending hours together everyday, whether it’s face to face or through the media.  
2\. If you could see yourself marrying them.   
3\. If you are one hundred percent okay with telling them everything you know.”

Jaemin was confused. He did feel like this with Jeno, but how would he ask? Naturally, he googled it, “how to ask someone to let you move in”

None of the answers seemed easy enough for him. Then, he came up with the best idea he had ever had.  
.  
.  
.  
“Jeno, could you look at the recipe on my phone? I forgot what to add after onions.” He saw Jeno nod and move to grab Jaemin’s phone. He smiled, his plan was working out. It was simple. He left his search history up on top of his recipe. Then, Jeno would see and get the hint. He just hoped he wouldn’t react negatively.   
.  
.  
Jeno picked up his boyfriend’s phone, following his instructions. When he saw the screen and what was open, his eyes widened and he quickly closed it and moved to the recipe. “Tomatoes, babe” He saw Jaemin give him a small nod and turn back to face the stove.

He couldn’t believe it. Jaemin was looking up how to ask him to move into his room? He didn’t understand why he didn’t just ask. He didn’t know what to say. Of course he would want Jaemin to move in- he had thought of it many times. But how would he ask without saying “I saw your search history”? 

“Are you okay, babe? You seem tense,” Jaemin said. Jeno shook his head and snapped back to reality, “I’m fine, just thinking.” Jaemin raised an eyebrow, “About?” Jaemin moved to sit next to him at the table.

Jeno didn’t want to say anything, he didn’t want any conflict, “It’s nothing.” Jaemin nodded and sat there in silence. He was going to be honest, but not now.

Jaemin was a little disappointed, but he knew it was up to Jeno to talk. If he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to. He wasn’t one to rush.

“THE SOUP!!!” Jaemin stood and rushed to the soup, turning off the stove. Both of them busted out laughing, and they went to look inside the pot. “Just perfect,” Jaemin said, spooning it into bowls for them to enjoy.  
.  
.  
“Can I talk to you, truth on truth?” he asked the next day. Jaemin nodded, moving next to him on the bed and sitting down, “what is it?” Jeno took a deep breath, “Don’t be mad, but I saw your search history on your phone and I didn’t mean to look but it was open, please don’t be mad at me and if you wanted to move in you should have just asked you can move in today or tomorrow or any day an-” Jaemin put a finger over his mouth to stop him from rambling. “That was my plan, Jen.”

“What?” Jaemin smiled, “I left it open on purpose, since I didn’t know how to ask you, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.” Jeno felt relieved, “I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you. I’ll move your stuff in later after we chill.” Jaemin nodded, scrolling on his phone until he fell asleep.  
.  
Jeno had finished moving Jaemin’s stuff into his room while Jaemin napped on his bed. Jaemin really liked to nap, he noticed. He shook Jaemin lightly, bringing him out of sleep. “Hmm?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “I moved your stuff,” Jeno replied. Jaemin pulled Jeno down onto the bed, relishing in the size of the king sized bed. It was so different to his own- Chenle’s now. “Sleep now.”

The first night sleeping in the same bed as Jaemin was bliss. He was warm and small in his arms. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t acted sooner. It was the same for Jaemin. He didn’t get cold once, and it was the best sleep he had ever had.   
.  
.  
.  
Jeno was nervous. It had been a week since he had bought the ring, and he was ready to propose. He told the other members about it and they agreed to leave them alone in the dorm. 

Jaemin was running late home and he rushed into the room, exhausted. He had gotten a shot that day from the doctor. It was a wellness thing, and he had just found this new doctor. Since then, he had felt tired, and he supposed it was a side effect per usual.

He noticed the dorm was awfully quiet when he walked in. Jeno wasn’t in the room, and he walked in slowly. He dropped his bag and he felt himself be spun around. He was face to face with Jeno. He smiled and placed a small kiss on his lips, greeting him. 

Slowly, he began, “Jaemin…. I love you, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You make my world shine, and I would be lost without you,” he got down on one knee, holding out the ring “Will you marry me?” Jaemin smiled, feeling lightheaded, “of course I will, I love you too, you’re the source of my happiness.” They slipped the rings on each other, sharing a loving kiss.

Then, Jaemin fell. Jeno panicked. “Jaemin?” No response. “Jaemin!” No response. “JAEMIN!!!!” No response. He got down and felt over his heart. No beat. He couldn’t process it. Not after he just got engaged to him, the love of his life.

Like he thought before, he would be lost without Jaemin, and he was. He didn’t know what had happened. He caressed his boyfriend’s hair for the last time before the EMT that had been called took him away.

Little did he know, it wasn’t a shot given to Jaemin. It was a lethal injection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry, maybe i'll post the happy version


	7. beautiful pt. 2.0 || nominated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy ending!!!

“Jenooooooooooo!!!!” Jaemin shouted, calling for Jeno even though he was in his room. It was the next day, and Jaemin’s door was open. “What, Jae?” Jeno responded, his tall figure appearing in the doorway. “Close the door?” Jaemin asked, giving his puppy eyes. “You called me for that?” Jaemin nodded, pointing at the door, “I don’t want it open.” Jeno rolled his eyes with a sigh, leaving and shutting the door. He was used to the behavior from Jaemin, he found it annoying at times, but mostly cute.

Jaemin smiled when Jeno left. He didn’t really care about the door, he had Jisung, who was above him for that. He just wanted to see Jeno. He was truly lucky to have someone like him. “When are you going to move in with Jeno?” he heard Jisung ask. “What? Already bored of me?” Jaemin climbed up the ladder to face Jisung. “It’s not that….. it’s just that I was thinking of Chenle coming to stay here…..” A grin slowly crept onto Jaemin’s face, “you’re so obsessed with him!!!!” 

“No I’m not!!! I just want to spend more time with him!!!” Jaemin arched an eyebrow, “More than the twelve hours you spend together daily already?” Jisung nodded, scrolling through tiktok, “Just asking, no rush.” Jaemin thought for a while, “Maybe it is time…” He climbed down and went to his favorite place, Google.

Jaemin couldn’t lie. Not having his notifications on his phone really helped. He was happier and he didn’t feel burdened. Yes, the thought of those comments being there was upsetting, but not reading them was putting him in a better mindset. 

He also really did want to share a room with Jeno. It was lonely alone, and he would get cold at night. He never went to complain about it, so he usually called Jeno from their separate rooms. It was silly, but he loved it.

He quickly searched up, “when is it ok to move into the same room as your s/o?” A bunch of results popped up, and he clicked on the most popular one.

“It is said that moving in with someone is a big deal. In truth, it is. There isn’t a set time, since all relationships move differently, and not everyone is completely comfortable with the idea. There are signs you could look out for, though.   
1\. If you are spending hours together everyday, whether it’s face to face or through the media.  
2\. If you could see yourself marrying them.   
3\. If you are one hundred percent okay with telling them everything you know.”

Jaemin was confused. He did feel like this with Jeno, but how would he ask? Naturally, he googled it, “how to ask someone to let you move in”

None of the answers seemed easy enough for him. Then, he came up with the best idea he had ever had.  
.  
.  
.  
“Jeno, could you look at the recipe on my phone? I forgot what to add after onions.” He saw Jeno nod and move to grab Jaemin’s phone. He smiled, his plan was working out. It was simple. He left his search history up on top of his recipe. Then, Jeno would see and get the hint. He just hoped he wouldn’t react negatively.   
.  
.  
Jeno picked up his boyfriend’s phone, following his instructions. When he saw the screen and what was open, his eyes widened and he quickly closed it and moved to the recipe. “Tomatoes, babe” He saw Jaemin give him a small nod and turn back to face the stove.

He couldn’t believe it. Jaemin was looking up how to ask him to move into his room? He didn’t understand why he didn’t just ask. He didn’t know what to say. Of course he would want Jaemin to move in- he had thought of it many times. But how would he ask without saying “I saw your search history”? 

“Are you okay, babe? You seem tense,” Jaemin said. Jeno shook his head and snapped back to reality, “I’m fine, just thinking.” Jaemin raised an eyebrow, “About?” Jaemin moved to sit next to him at the table.

Jeno didn’t want to say anything, he didn’t want any conflict, “It’s nothing.” Jaemin nodded and sat there in silence. He was going to be honest, but not now.

Jaemin was a little disappointed, but he knew it was up to Jeno to talk. If he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to. He wasn’t one to rush.

“THE SOUP!!!” Jaemin stood and rushed to the soup, turning off the stove. Both of them busted out laughing, and they went to look inside the pot. “Just perfect,” Jaemin said, spooning it into bowls for them to enjoy.  
.  
.  
“Can I talk to you, truth on truth?” he asked the next day. Jaemin nodded, moving next to him on the bed and sitting down, “what is it?” Jeno took a deep breath, “Don’t be mad, but I saw your search history on your phone and I didn’t mean to look but it was open, please don’t be mad at me and if you wanted to move in you should have just asked you can move in today or tomorrow or any day an-” Jaemin put a finger over his mouth to stop him from rambling. “That was my plan, Jen.”

“What?” Jaemin smiled, “I left it open on purpose, since I didn’t know how to ask you, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.” Jeno felt relieved, “I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you. I’ll move your stuff in later after we chill.” Jaemin nodded, scrolling on his phone until he fell asleep.  
.  
Jeno had finished moving Jaemin’s stuff into his room while Jaemin napped on his bed. Jaemin really liked to nap, he noticed. He shook Jaemin lightly, bringing him out of sleep. “Hmm?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “I moved your stuff,” Jeno replied. Jaemin pulled Jeno down onto the bed, relishing in the size of the king sized bed. It was so different to his own- Chenle’s now. “Sleep now.”

The first night sleeping in the same bed as Jaemin was bliss. He was warm and small in his arms. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t acted sooner. It was the same for Jaemin. He didn’t get cold once, and it was the best sleep he had ever had.   
.  
.  
.  
Jeno was incredibly nervous. It had been a week since he had bought the wedding ring, and he was ready to propose. He told the other members about it and they agreed to leave them alone in the dorm. Now it was up to his nerve to decide whether or not to actually do it.

He wanted to make it special, Jaemin was his world, his everything. There wasn’t a crazy adventure in his memory that didn’t involve Jaemin. Since he bought that ring, it was all he could think of.

Jaemin was running late home and he rushed into the room, since Jeno asked him to meet him. He noticed the dorm was awfully quiet when he walked in, no screaming, no fighting, just silence. Jeno wasn’t in the room, and he supposed they all went out.

He walked in slowly to the room, slightly scared that he was alone. He dropped his bag at his feet and he felt himself be spun around. He was face to face with Jeno and his gorgeous eyesmile. He grinned and placed a small kiss on his lips, greeting him. “Hi, I’m glad you’re home, babe,” Jeno said. Jaemin laughed, his boyfriend was so cheesy at times.

They were face to face, and Jeno took Jaemin’s hands into his own. With a visible gulp, he began, “Jaemin…. I love you, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You make my world shine, and I would be lost without you,” he got down on one knee, holding out the velvet box, opening it, “Will you marry me?” 

Jaemin smiled, feeling a sense of overwhelming happiness, “of course I will, I love you too, you’re the source of my happiness.” They slipped the rings on each other, giving each other a loving kiss. Not rushed, not steamy, just two reckless young adults that so happened to be getting married soon.


	8. set me on fire (and let me burn) || markhyuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set me on fire, wave goodbye, and let me burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically me writing to people in my life, but changing the people to dream as i see fit

To Mark,

I don't want to be here. You made me stay. And that's why I hate you. 

It's suffocating and painful, being trapped here. I can't move. I can't express. I can't live. And sometimes I don't want to. Sometimes I wonder how easy your life would be without me. How easy it would be for everyone to move on from me. 

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a person who wants to be there. Little by little, I see someone struggling, hurting. And I see that as time passes, that person becomes more and more transparent. Until their thoughts are clear and they know they don't want to be there. And once they're fully gone, they stay gone. 

Maybe it's what people would call crazy, or insane, but I think about leaving a lot. I think about running away, or maybe just ending it. I also think about what we've talked about, and it means a lot, it does, but that can't be the only good thing in my life. Not when I've lost passion for what I love, for who I love. Not when I feel something closing in. What that thing is, is what I need to find out.

I'm almost gone, I'm almost invisible. And I can't wait until I'm gone. I've tried everything. I cut my hair off, I changed my clothes, I tried to be someone I'm not. None of it works. It's like the horrible thing about me is there, and I can almost reach it, and right when I almost get it, I fall. 

People like the fake me, though. They like the perfect image I display. They like that I never appear hurt. They like the fact that I'll always do what they say.

Something's blocking me. I don't know what love is. I hear about it everyday, all the time, but I don't know what it feels like. I don't know what it's like to be loved. I've had crushes, I have one now, but it doesn't feel right. I know they don't love me and it's not worth asking if they do. 

When I walk into a room, it's always "how's ____?" or "make sure everything is in order" and it kind of hurts. Only one person has asked about me, and I told them. They hurt me. I built a wall after that. No one's ever broken it since. I could write a novel about the things people don't know about me. The things you don't know about me. Only two people know the name I feel safe with, and only one respects it. And I keep it locked up, because once I tell you, I'm vulnerable. The one time I was completely vulnerable, I was almost drugged. I'll never do it again, unless one amazing person who really cares asks, I'm sorry.

So do me a favor. One day, tell me whatever you think of me, good or bad, love or hate, and then set me on fire. Don't feel guilty, I asked for it. Set me on fire, wave goodbye, and let me burn.

Love, Hyuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i find someone to tell everything i'll let you know
> 
> love, ana


	9. i’m burdening you (so let me go) || nomin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you enough to let you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another letter. this one’s for my friends

To Jeno, 

Hanging out with you and talking to you is the best thing in my life curently, but it needs to stop. You are an amazing person and you need to move on with your life.

Life is short, and you shouldn’t spend yours listening to me talk about mine. You shouldn’t be spending any of your time with me. You have so much potential, and listening to me rant is only setting you back. Those seconds become minutes, and those minutes become hours. Hours become days, and a day is too much. Twenty four whole hours with me. That’s too much.

In twenty four hours, you could call your family. In twenty four hours, you could explore the word. In twenty four hours, you could make new friends. Why do you spend time talking to me? I’m just a person passing by, someone there to cheer you on. Don’t stop for too long, or you’ll miss the train to your future. Sometimes they come by so fast, that when you took that minute to talk to me, you missed it.

It sounds like I’m putting it over the top, I know. But I also know something you might not. I know the absolute value of time. Why? Because I used to follow someone around. I used to make them my number one even though I was their number two hundred. I cared about them so much that I missed something I could never get back. I lost time. Time to go to school. Time to spend with my family. And I can never get it back.

I talk too much. Tell me I do, I’ll stop. I don’t want to bother you. I’ll find someone else. Go out there and move mountains. Go out there and do your absolute best to succeed. I’m not going to always be there. You’ll meet new people, gain new interests, and eventually, you’ll be so far ahead of me you won’t be able to see me.

Before you go, let me tell you. You’re a beautiful person. Until I met you, I didn’t know what love was. I love you. You made my smile genuine. You made my heart full. But there comes a time that you have to let go.

One of my friends brought up a good point in her writing. Being so happy it hurts. That’s what it’s like when I’m with you. I’m so happy it hurts. It hurts because I know it’s getting you nowhere. But know that you got me so far, I’m still alive.

I want what’s best for you, and sometimes what’s best for you, doesn’t involve me.

I’m burdening you and you know it. Find someone who makes you as happy as you make me. I love you enough to let you go. 

Love, Jaemin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when you find that someone, let me know
> 
> love, ana


	10. the sun comes up (but not this time) || chenji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to no one in particular

To Jisung,

It's a miracle I wake up in the morning. I'm so young, but when I sleep, it's dark. There's monsters and forces from my deepest fears, manifestations of what I fear most. They pull and grab at me in my sleep, and I try to escape.

Dreams are supposed to happy and filled with well, dreams. They're supposed to be what you want most, they're supposed to make you hope. Mine don't. Mine make me want to stand on the railing of a tall building and free fall.

I try to escape my dreams. I wake up, afraid. I'm a coward and I know it. I try to brush it off and be cheerful everyday, but it doesn't work. When I wake up, my nightmare just worsens. It's something I live. 

When I sleep, things from horror movies come to life. They scratch at my skin, they suffocate me. And when it's really bad, they drown me. When I'm asleep and look down at myself, I'm broken and scarred. The nail marks from demons, the burns from monsters, and worst of all, the feeling of water in my lungs. 

When I have such nightmares, it's always dark. Everything is dark, I'm blindly thrashing into the darkness, trying to run. These thoughts envelop me. I feel like I'm falling, and sometimes I wonder if I'm going to wake up. Those dreams are horrible. I dream of my mom trying to kill my little sister. I dream of my little brother being taken. And worst of all, I can't wake up.

Something doesn't let me wake up until everything I treasure is gone. I can't wake up until my sister is dead. I can't wake up until my little brother is gone. I can't wake up until I'm silently screaming and crying. No matter how hard I try, it doesn't work.

I can only wake up when the sun comes up. It always does. The feeling of slight relief comes, but is quickly replaced be dread. I dread having to get up and live. I dread having to face the people I had seen die only a few minutes before. I dread having to write all of this, but it's my only coping mechanism.

That's why I sleep late. I sacrifice everything to avoid those dreams. I sleep at 3am, 4am, so I only have to bear 2-3 hours of hell. Sometimes I don't sleep at all. What's the point of sleeping if it only makes me more tired?

Those nights I have to sleep because I'm exhausted, I go through hell. Even now I can feel the cold dead hands drowning me. I can feel the burning feeling of a knife in my stomach. I can feel the warm fuzzy sensation of a bullet in my head. 

But I have to remind myself, the sun comes up, no matter what. It comes to an end eventually. And everyone tells me I'm crazy. That I dream these things because I'm not right in the mind. Maybe they're right, but they can't do anything to help me. Eating makes me tired after, so I don't eat. Working out makes me tired, so I don't.

So I think about not ever waking up. Maybe if I die in my sleep, I'll rest in darkness, nothing else. But sadly the sun comes up still. So when I'm completely over it, maybe tonight, maybe next decade, 

the sun won't come up, not this time

Love, Chenle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's my sleep deprivation story
> 
> Love, ana


End file.
